Fucking shit

Jen Foster-She

It's 5:44 AM and I'm still awake.  Mainly due to nerves but mostly because I woke up seven at night.

Of course I am fucking terrified right now.  I am going to be wide awake during the procedure.

I was going to try and mentally prepare myself beforehand but no matter how hard I tried to shrug it off, the nerves kept tugging.

So, I have just decided to just basically say "Fuck it!" and go through with it.  Nerves or not, I'm just going go with the fucking flow.

Talking with Bethany distracted me but it didn't calm me down.

Music is helping.

My laser eye surgery isn't until 3:30 PM.

I'm not quite sure if I should go to sleep now or stay up.

Although sleep is of course calling my name.  Not quite why NOW instead of many hours ago.

I think I'll go to sleep now.  It's either get a good shut eye or risk falling asleep on the slab-I mean table.

I have decided to just think about my novel while my eye is being operated on.

So, I'm going to sleep now and I'll come back once I'm healed and I'll report what happened.

If I can change anything, what would I change?

Is what my new-ish therapist asked me right now on the phone.  I'm going to meet her the day after my birthday.  At two.  I have to bring my I.D and then medical card shit and then the income bill.

I have to answer that question now.

So, what would I change?

I would change the way I talk.  And that includes lack of too.  I pause in a sentence.  People say I talk in "broken sentences".  I talk too quietly.  I feel like I stumble over my words sometimes.

What else would I change?

Lesbian Bed Death-Goth Girls Are Easy

So, I got a dress.  It wasn't at all what I had in mind.  Like...at all, at all!

<.<

But it'll do for the occasion and probably others.  I like the dress.  It's decent and it's KIND OF dark-ish.

I got a new hair cut.  Forgot to post it in the other post.

I like it.  Okay, I'm starting to like it. 

I got a new hair cut because Summer is approaching and I get really annoyed by my long hair and I decided to just fucking cut it. 

And I also because I needed a little change.  

So, what is going on in my world?

Mmmmm, not much.  Sleeping all day and writing all night.  I'm still stuck on chapter seventeen.  But I am planning on ending it tonight.  Just to get it over with and fucking MOVE on!

I already know what chapter seventeen is going to be about.  Scarlet is going to reflect on her life.  And the mermaids.  

Meh

Miss FD-Losing Ground

I don't know what I was expecting yesterday.  I got all dressed up and then we met up with them at Denny's.  We ate, they chatted.  And that was it.  Got a few laughs from them.

After that, we headed home because it was raining.  We didn't have our sweaters.  So, we went home and I got some DVDs from this lady (I got the cartoon version of Alice In Wonderland, The Room mate and then Argo because Clea Duvall is in it <3).

Ate and then watched Alice and next thing you know, I wake up at eight forty five, staring at the root menu of the dvd.

On April 25th, I have to go through with the laser eye surgery shit.

I'm trying so hard NOT to think about it but it's the first of April and it's kind of hard not to, you know?

Well, it's Monday and you know what that means!!

Lost Girl and Being Human are on tonight *Twirls around* AAAND I get my paycheck.

I'll worry about the surgery shit the day AFTER my birthday.

Seriously.