I put a soup in the microwave last night and it caught on fire. I left the foil part upwards instead of down.
I poured myself a glass of Kahlua to calm myself down.
Made another one and ended up throwing it away. I was too mad. Got five waffles and ate them.
Mom asked me if I already ate it. I told her that I threw the half away. And then she goes and checks in the trash. And then she has me explain to her why I threw it away.
Fucking God.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
Oracles Cards (and how to pick them and how they've helped me)
Listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsbZIjfreVs
Go to a local bookstore (or online) and get a "feeling" of which one you love.
Channel your energy into the cards. Get to know them. And let them get to know you.
Clear the energy (how the person has handled it) and knock 3 times. Then fan out the cards and go through them. And put your "intentions" of what you want from the cards.
If a card just falls or jumps out, pay close attention! Like if they all fall, it doesn't count. But if one just pops out or something, it wants your attention.
It's all about "feeling" and honing in on that gut-feeling. And stop shuffling when you feel ready to stop.
And it comes to picking the card, and you don't feel like it's the top card, pick the center of the deck.
And there is your Oracle reading.
Enjoy.
Go to a local bookstore (or online) and get a "feeling" of which one you love.
Channel your energy into the cards. Get to know them. And let them get to know you.
Clear the energy (how the person has handled it) and knock 3 times. Then fan out the cards and go through them. And put your "intentions" of what you want from the cards.
If a card just falls or jumps out, pay close attention! Like if they all fall, it doesn't count. But if one just pops out or something, it wants your attention.
It's all about "feeling" and honing in on that gut-feeling. And stop shuffling when you feel ready to stop.
And it comes to picking the card, and you don't feel like it's the top card, pick the center of the deck.
And there is your Oracle reading.
Enjoy.
2012 sucks arse!
Monica Richards-Lureinlay
The food was okay.
I wasn't thinking clearly. The first one was shitty (like wtf? Of course they have to come!!!)
What I really wanted to say was thanks to God for putting a stop to everything when I was going to go to Chicago. And thanks to my mother for being there for me. And I would come up with something nice to say for my sister.
But I didn't say it because I didn't want to start anything.
But instead, I thanked my mom and sister for supporting me and in coming for my Graduation.
Then I thanked Obama for running his second term.
That's it.
The second one was weird and so random.
Ugh. Whatever.
Halloween sucked. Now, thanksgiving?
I fucking hope x-mas doesn't suck either.
This is JUST not my fucking year, apparently.
Looking forward to the new year.
We ate and then my sister made me speak some words in spanish that has "R" in it. We all got a good laugh. Me especially. With my nephew, making fun of me. It was so cute.
Then my sister didn't bring me some Kahlua like I asked her to.
Once the dinner was over with, I grabbed a medium-sized bottle of Vodka and some flavor in it.
I calmed down and felt so much better then.
Monica Richards-Pride
The food was okay.
I wasn't thinking clearly. The first one was shitty (like wtf? Of course they have to come!!!)
What I really wanted to say was thanks to God for putting a stop to everything when I was going to go to Chicago. And thanks to my mother for being there for me. And I would come up with something nice to say for my sister.
But I didn't say it because I didn't want to start anything.
But instead, I thanked my mom and sister for supporting me and in coming for my Graduation.
Then I thanked Obama for running his second term.
That's it.
The second one was weird and so random.
Ugh. Whatever.
Halloween sucked. Now, thanksgiving?
I fucking hope x-mas doesn't suck either.
This is JUST not my fucking year, apparently.
Looking forward to the new year.
We ate and then my sister made me speak some words in spanish that has "R" in it. We all got a good laugh. Me especially. With my nephew, making fun of me. It was so cute.
Then my sister didn't bring me some Kahlua like I asked her to.
Once the dinner was over with, I grabbed a medium-sized bottle of Vodka and some flavor in it.
I calmed down and felt so much better then.
Monica Richards-Pride
Monday, November 19, 2012
No Words
Evanescence-What You Want
Last night, my nephew told me that at night he would sometimes wake up and hear sucking noises.
My sister isn't paying rent (ever since we confronted her about her fake shit) and she brings home a guy.
And he sometimes stay over.
It angers me when he comes over. I like to wear nightgowns. And this is the only nightgown I have and it has a rip on the side and on the buttcheek part.
It fucking pissed me off when he told me that. It didn't surprise me because she did that to me when I was a little girl. She would fuck her BF in the other room and she scream loudly and bang on the wall. I would get scared and I actually thought he was hurting her. One night, I was hungry and I wanted her to make me something and I walked in on them.
And then one time, she slept in the living room with me. I slept on the couch and she slept on a bed on the floor. His ass came over and in just minutes, I would hear my sister moan softly and then there would be soft kicks on my sofa.
I think I started singing out loud or in my head.
And now that she is doing that to her own SON, it fucking pisses me more!!!
Evanescence-The Change
Last night, my nephew told me that at night he would sometimes wake up and hear sucking noises.
My sister isn't paying rent (ever since we confronted her about her fake shit) and she brings home a guy.
And he sometimes stay over.
It angers me when he comes over. I like to wear nightgowns. And this is the only nightgown I have and it has a rip on the side and on the buttcheek part.
It fucking pissed me off when he told me that. It didn't surprise me because she did that to me when I was a little girl. She would fuck her BF in the other room and she scream loudly and bang on the wall. I would get scared and I actually thought he was hurting her. One night, I was hungry and I wanted her to make me something and I walked in on them.
And then one time, she slept in the living room with me. I slept on the couch and she slept on a bed on the floor. His ass came over and in just minutes, I would hear my sister moan softly and then there would be soft kicks on my sofa.
I think I started singing out loud or in my head.
And now that she is doing that to her own SON, it fucking pisses me more!!!
Evanescence-The Change
Hmmm
Otep-Gutter
I think the reason why I didn't like Halloween was because I really didn't like my costume. And the new boots I was wearing were beginning to form blisters.
And then plus my sister had a friend with her. And I didn't. I just....listened to them joke around and shit.
That was why I didn't like Halloween.
*Raises glass of Kahlua*
Here's to the next Halloween.
Jen Foster-I Like You
I think the reason why I didn't like Halloween was because I really didn't like my costume. And the new boots I was wearing were beginning to form blisters.
And then plus my sister had a friend with her. And I didn't. I just....listened to them joke around and shit.
That was why I didn't like Halloween.
*Raises glass of Kahlua*
Here's to the next Halloween.
Jen Foster-I Like You
New title
Jen Foster-Ordinary Girl
I changed the title because in my novel, Scarlet goes to her "Secret Garden" when things are too...much.
It's her Sanctuary.
And The Graveyard is where I'll post Gothy things.
I changed the title because in my novel, Scarlet goes to her "Secret Garden" when things are too...much.
It's her Sanctuary.
And The Graveyard is where I'll post Gothy things.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Deleteing VampireFreaks and the concept all together
The Gathering-Herbal Movement
I gave them my E-mail. I left them the choice to stay in contact with me. Not really expecting anything.
I'm dropping the site and the concept of friends because I don't want to be disappointed later on. I expect too much. That's my problem. The movie The Craft is to blame. I want friends like that.
I gave them my E-mail. I left them the choice to stay in contact with me. Not really expecting anything.
I'm dropping the site and the concept of friends because I don't want to be disappointed later on. I expect too much. That's my problem. The movie The Craft is to blame. I want friends like that.
The only good about last night
Corday-Over You
I got home and took a shower. Then ate and hoped the night would just fucking end. Wanted Halloween to be behind me already.
Watched a soap opera with mom and fell asleep. I knocked out before the night would end.
Woke up sore but happy. It's a new day and a new month.
And I made the mistake of telling my mom that I didn't like Halloween.
You know, I think I didn't like last night was because last year, my sister faked that she was pregnant (when at the time, I thought it was real) and she complained of (imaginary) pains and being tired.
She tainted my favorite holiday.
The only good thing about last night was the moon. I barely even glanced at that when my sister said the moon was beautiful. I just shrugged and walked on home.
Jen Foster-You Stayed
I got home and took a shower. Then ate and hoped the night would just fucking end. Wanted Halloween to be behind me already.
Watched a soap opera with mom and fell asleep. I knocked out before the night would end.
Woke up sore but happy. It's a new day and a new month.
And I made the mistake of telling my mom that I didn't like Halloween.
You know, I think I didn't like last night was because last year, my sister faked that she was pregnant (when at the time, I thought it was real) and she complained of (imaginary) pains and being tired.
She tainted my favorite holiday.
The only good thing about last night was the moon. I barely even glanced at that when my sister said the moon was beautiful. I just shrugged and walked on home.
Jen Foster-You Stayed
Dressing up was fun though!
Skold-Tonight (album version)
Okay, no, not really. Not even that.
Sis kept hurrying me up and I don't like to be told to hurry up. Especially on a night like last night.
So, I got annoyed. Wasn't bitchy or anything. Just...talked like I was dead. She called me out on it. Told her that I just felt like I was missing something.
So we meet up with her co-worker. Then we walk and start asking for candy, we'd either just....leave alone for years, throw away or consume.
Throughout the night, I felt dead. Utterly dead. Funny, because I was Elizabeth Bathory. I had blood on my chest and corners of my lips. Wanted more blood on my face but sis was all "are you done? are you done?" every so often.
I mentioned random shit to my sis but she just...didn't comment further on it.
Throughout the night, I walked ahead. Nephew bitched that I was walking too fast. Sis kept calling me back.
And for what? To fucking leave me behind and not check back if I was even there? Not talk to me but talk to her co-worker?
Got tired of her calling me back so I just lagged behind. And then when we went back to the co-workers house, I walked alongside with them.
Okay, no, not really. Not even that.
Sis kept hurrying me up and I don't like to be told to hurry up. Especially on a night like last night.
So, I got annoyed. Wasn't bitchy or anything. Just...talked like I was dead. She called me out on it. Told her that I just felt like I was missing something.
So we meet up with her co-worker. Then we walk and start asking for candy, we'd either just....leave alone for years, throw away or consume.
Throughout the night, I felt dead. Utterly dead. Funny, because I was Elizabeth Bathory. I had blood on my chest and corners of my lips. Wanted more blood on my face but sis was all "are you done? are you done?" every so often.
I mentioned random shit to my sis but she just...didn't comment further on it.
Throughout the night, I walked ahead. Nephew bitched that I was walking too fast. Sis kept calling me back.
And for what? To fucking leave me behind and not check back if I was even there? Not talk to me but talk to her co-worker?
Got tired of her calling me back so I just lagged behind. And then when we went back to the co-workers house, I walked alongside with them.
Boo!
The Dresden Dolls-First Orgasm
Halloween fucking sucked. And telling my mother that, didn't help.
And it's going to help even less that she's going to tell my sister.
Told my mother and she assumed that I was blaming somebody. When really I just told her. I wasn't complaining or anything. Then she was all "but in your tone......"
My tone was dead.
I told her that she was assuming.
And then when we went around in circles. So I just dropped it and tried to drown her out and saying "yes......no...." to all the right spots.
Halloween fucking sucked. And telling my mother that, didn't help.
And it's going to help even less that she's going to tell my sister.
Told my mother and she assumed that I was blaming somebody. When really I just told her. I wasn't complaining or anything. Then she was all "but in your tone......"
My tone was dead.
I told her that she was assuming.
And then when we went around in circles. So I just dropped it and tried to drown her out and saying "yes......no...." to all the right spots.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Lesson learned
And moving on. To other people around my area and my age.
Met one girl on VampireFreaks. She lives in Riverside. As long as it's in So Cal, I don't care if she fucking lives in the Ocean!
.....although I love mermaids :P
Met one girl on VampireFreaks. She lives in Riverside. As long as it's in So Cal, I don't care if she fucking lives in the Ocean!
.....although I love mermaids :P
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sometimes it's best for things to be on-line
I have known this woman for two years now. I looked up "Goddess" on Twitter and who was the first suggestion? Yep. Her. Let's name her "Raven".
She sent me stuff. She got autographs from this author. I like one book from her. Tried to read the others. I couldn't. And then she got a book by Anne Rice. And she did a video message from Anne Rice. For my birthday!
Now Raven was way to old for me. She was thirty something. I was barely turning twenty. Yeah, I know.
The more we talked, the more I got attracted to her. She saw my picture and I saw her picture. She liked what she saw and I......didn't know.
And yes, she and I did something. Met with her two weeks ago. We had our life planned out. Where we were going to be staying. Furniture planned out and the type of cats. Names for the cats and even for our way-future daughter.
Her mother asked for her brother (Raven's) to come with her. For "Safety issues". Uh-huh. So, he tagged along. Ugh.
She told me she had already booked the tickets. We go to Union Station and I find out that she didn't book the tickets! So we stayed there for most of the day. Checking every half hour for any word on any cancellations for seats. We tried getting a rental car too. Nothing. It was too much money. Which brings me to this question:
How the bloody fuck are you going to be traveling without any cash?
She used her credit cards. When we went to Subway to eat, she only had eleven dollars. I sneaked a peek.
We decide to go the hotel room by the airport. So her brother can fly out the following morning. I paid for the taxi. It was $60. I paid $80 and the fucker wouldn't give me any change. I don't know if there's a different rule around the L.A.X area.
Ugh, whatever.
We go into the hotel and her credit card keeps getting declined and then she pulls out a third card and somehow it goes through.
I don't know why I decided to move in with her. It wasn't me. It didn't feel like me.
When we broke up, I decided to make her Amy instead of Ruth.
When I wrote her as Ruth, it didn't feel like Sheila.
But now as I wrote her as Amy, it feels like her :)
I guess Ruth was inspired by the chick that dances with Megan at the "c****sucker" club in the movie "But I'm A Cheerleader".
She sent me stuff. She got autographs from this author. I like one book from her. Tried to read the others. I couldn't. And then she got a book by Anne Rice. And she did a video message from Anne Rice. For my birthday!
Now Raven was way to old for me. She was thirty something. I was barely turning twenty. Yeah, I know.
The more we talked, the more I got attracted to her. She saw my picture and I saw her picture. She liked what she saw and I......didn't know.
And yes, she and I did something. Met with her two weeks ago. We had our life planned out. Where we were going to be staying. Furniture planned out and the type of cats. Names for the cats and even for our way-future daughter.
Her mother asked for her brother (Raven's) to come with her. For "Safety issues". Uh-huh. So, he tagged along. Ugh.
She told me she had already booked the tickets. We go to Union Station and I find out that she didn't book the tickets! So we stayed there for most of the day. Checking every half hour for any word on any cancellations for seats. We tried getting a rental car too. Nothing. It was too much money. Which brings me to this question:
How the bloody fuck are you going to be traveling without any cash?
She used her credit cards. When we went to Subway to eat, she only had eleven dollars. I sneaked a peek.
We decide to go the hotel room by the airport. So her brother can fly out the following morning. I paid for the taxi. It was $60. I paid $80 and the fucker wouldn't give me any change. I don't know if there's a different rule around the L.A.X area.
Ugh, whatever.
We go into the hotel and her credit card keeps getting declined and then she pulls out a third card and somehow it goes through.
I don't know why I decided to move in with her. It wasn't me. It didn't feel like me.
When we broke up, I decided to make her Amy instead of Ruth.
When I wrote her as Ruth, it didn't feel like Sheila.
But now as I wrote her as Amy, it feels like her :)
I guess Ruth was inspired by the chick that dances with Megan at the "c****sucker" club in the movie "But I'm A Cheerleader".
Introduction
Greetings, my name is Crystal. I'm 21.
Let's get something out of the way? I'm a lesbian.
Yep. A full-blown lesbian. Have been since I was five. But.....I'll have that topic have its only little section.
Anyway, the point of this blog is to post the events and my thoughts.
I like to think of my blog posts as "The Graveyard". The subject title is the writing on the tombstone. And the subject is the dirt and coffin.
I'll post photos related to the subject.
In the beginning and end of each post, I'll put what I'm listening to. For example:
Miss FD-Enter The Void
Subject: ......................hi?
Celadon-Passageway
Let's get something out of the way? I'm a lesbian.
Yep. A full-blown lesbian. Have been since I was five. But.....I'll have that topic have its only little section.
Anyway, the point of this blog is to post the events and my thoughts.
I like to think of my blog posts as "The Graveyard". The subject title is the writing on the tombstone. And the subject is the dirt and coffin.
I'll post photos related to the subject.
In the beginning and end of each post, I'll put what I'm listening to. For example:
Miss FD-Enter The Void
Subject: ......................hi?
Celadon-Passageway
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