Need to look for dresses

So, I'm going to be my sister's maid of honor.

There's this one.  And this one.  And even this one.  and with this top?

Damn

Bella Lune-Denial

So, I went to the go get my eye checked.

The nurse gave me a bouquet of flowers and told me that the Dr. gave it to all his patients (Well, no fucking shit.  Thanks for subtly telling me, "You're no one special.  He does this all the time!".  Fuck you, bitch!!!!!! Let me feel fucking special for once!!!).

So, awwwwwww (and awwwwww <.<) at that.

Met up with the Dr and then he told me that he left one percent of the cataract in (so I have to have it removed by a laser.  Fucking shit!).

I got mad when he gave me the flowers because I wanted to tell him that I still was alive.

Why am I saying this?

Because the last time I met with him, I asked if I could be put to sleep and he said that there might be a chance that I might not wake up (die).

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH.

So, imagine that, huh?

And if I did tell him that, I would seem like an ungrateful bitch.  

So far, no date for the next operation (for the other eye).

I have to return on Tuesday at two something.

Ugh.  I don't wanna go.  I like two of the nurses that work there and I get SUPERRRRRR nervous around them.  One looks like Emily Perkins (from Ginger Snaps) and the other one looks like a distant cousin of Kimberly Freeman (from One-Eyed Doll).

No Doubt-Looking Hot

I would endure it one more time. That's it.

Bella Lune-Never Where

So, after coming from the surgery, I could not walk.  Had to lean against my mom and look down.

Sat up in bed and ate soup and drank lemonade.  Felt sort of better.  I dozed off at some point.  Woke up and I tried to watch TV.  I couldn't.  It hurt too much and the voices were making me dizzy.  Then I got a headache.  It got stronger.  Started crying.  And then I threw up. 

And I felt so much fucking better.

I tried to eat an hour later.  I didn't feel like eating so I just listened to music and fell asleep.

Woke up, brushed my teeth and then took a shower.  Got out and got dressed.  My mom took off my eyepatch (I was somewhere in-between telling her no and wanting to rip it off).
  And everything was clear.

So

Melissa Ferrick-Singing With The Wind

Remember when I said that I didn't expect the people from vampirefreaks to e-mail me back?

Yeah, they never did e-mail me back.

Told ya!

Pending doom

Melissa Ferrick-Still Right Here

So, it all went okay.  The van was 30 minutes later.  No complaints from me.  It was nice, waiting.  During the ride, I listened to Kimberly Freeman and One-Eyed Doll.  That calmed me down. 

So, mom and I entered the building.  Mom was told to wait somewhere else.  So, I was left to my own devices.  The lady had me sign my name on a few papers.  Was left alone and then called in to take my blood pressure.  I was pretty nervous.  She put some eyedrops.  Told to wait outside.  Got called in again and then asked to pee in a cup.  I laughed.  But peed anyway.  Then I got sent in.  There was piano melodies playing.  This was hell, I thought.

Lied down and tried to relax.  A guy came over and tapped the back of my hand to get my veins popping out of my hand.  He inserted that shit in (fucker hurt for like ohhhh, ten seconds?).  Then he put some clear tube thing in my nose. 

And then he came back and said that I'd feel something cold being put in.  I shrugged and waited.  And then next thing you know, I'm waking up very fucking hazy and moaning.  My mouth was fucking DRY as a motherfucker! I asked if I had my operation and that I was so very thirsty.  Then I dozed off.  Woke up and saw my mom at my side.  Asked if she was really there.  She nodded and said yes.

Melissa Ferrick-One Of A Kind

Bundle of nerves

Evanescence-My Immortal

I tried being put to sleep.  But he said that there is a chance I might not wake up.  I told my mom this and she laughed.  Laughed!

<.<

Mom informed me on Monday that on Wednesday, I'm having surgery.

I felt surprised but I shrugged it off.  I figured it would fully hit me on Tuesday.

And boy, did it!

I'm kind of worried about the incision.  They assured me that I'm not going to feel anything but still, there's still that worry.

I'm worried of hearing the Doctors speaking about cutting and "give me this and give me this".

No one wants to hear that shit.

I read somewhere that you can bring in your mp3 player.  I mentioned it to mom and she said it was stupid.

Whatever.

If I am allowed to listen to my mp3 player, I'll play some Lee Blaske.

In fact, I'm going to bed right now and I might just listen to his music before drifting off to sleep (hopefully!).

I'm talking to Bethany and she's calming me down.  Distracting me and yet being supportive.

Love her.  Oh, so much.  

I think I finally found my Morticia Addams ^.^

So, I'm going to head off to bed now.  Get this shit over with.  Hopefully, the Dr or nurses will let me bring in my mp3 player and hopefully they will walk me through the procedure.

Mom is up and I should probably go to bed.

Evanescence-Hello

Here goes nothing!

Jen Foster-She

So, I have cataracts.  I've had it all of my life and no one has said anything.  Ugh.

I was supposed to do it last year but then that bitch happened and I thought I was going to go do it in Chicago.

I don't wanna dwell on that subject.  Right now.  I'll save it for another post.

So, I have surgery today.  At ten in the morning.  I have to be up at eight or seven.  Van is gonna come and take me to the thing and then drop me off home when all is done.

So, they're going to put eye drops to numb my eye and then suck out the cataract.

That's all I remember anyway.