Look much deeper

If I said I wanted you back because obviously that whole thing in Affinity about your soul withering if it can't reach its other half is true.......what might your answer be?

 Yes I really want you back. Not having you has been much worse than waiting for you. I would much rather wait and know you'll be waiting for me too than wait alone and hope you'll still be there later.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This was her question to me that she told me to wait for.  The question that caught me off-guard.  

What she REALLY means is that she wants to string me along, to wait for the next big thing.

I mean, fuck, she doesn't even want to meet me in person.  She has college and she wants to be a teacher and that takes up a lot of time.  

And she doesn't want to meet me during her breaks or in-between.

A rant

It seems every time that I go into the "Fashion District", I have something to blog about...

Today, I went with my sister to buy shoes and leggings for my trip to Las Vegas (leaving on Tuesday!).

We go into a store and I notice this woman.  She has nice hair (and everything else-including her jeans with a striped top).  She turns around and I naturally direct my gaze down.

I can't help it, okay?

Anyway, I'm totally checking her out and she turns around too quick.

And then she starts boasting about her boyfriend to her mother or whatever the fuck she is.

The shoes in the store don't look good anyway so I just gesture to my sister to get out of there.

As we walk out, she tells her mom that I checked her out.

Safely away from her ears, I tell my sister that that bitch didn't need to spell it out.  I got her the first time that she had a boyfriend.

But later on, I felt like shit.

8/30/13 edit: I'm okay now.  The feeling like shit has passed ever since I came back from Las Vegas.  I suppose I really let loose in Vegas and I saw some Playboy bunnies (one had a real good ass!).

<3

Need to fucking stop this right NOW

There was this gay facebook page and it said to add friends.  So, I put in my two cents and I met this girl.

We started talking about my novel, I suggested the book Carmilla and she told me she would go check it out.  And having someone actually go and check something out that you yourself suggested, is rare.

We started messaging and she got all flirty and I took it like that and we would talk all normally and then we'd go back to being flirty.

Who wouldn't get mixed signals? I mean, friends don't flirt with each other.

At least I don't think so.  But I just confronted her about it right now and she said that her friends did that to her all the time.

Now, how am I supposed to take this?

Should I just shut down my emotions every time I talk to her and just view her as one big fucking joke?

It appears I'd have to do this...